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| | Candy, Kisses, Bondage. Or, Why I Hate Chicago
Posted on 05/31/2006 by Spike
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Sometime remind me to tell you about the time Memorial Day Weekend that
1) The Angels performed with a guest star, the amazing Ruby (an adorable girl who was inspired by the Aerial Angels to go into circus training. She performed her cloud swing routine on a jerry-rigged silk and was quite charming)
2) I was so hot and uncomfortable in my skin that I cried backstage for five minutes, slapped myself in the face, then ate a burger.
3) I saw the spider again. The big one. The one the size of my hand (not exaggerating) that crawled over my skin when I was cleaning the backstage the first weekend. I've decided to call him "Frank."
4) I escaped from a straitjacket while hanging upside-down off a Jolly Roger and realized there was no way I could feasibly escape without feeling Bloodbeard's special place.
5) I was about to escape from the straitjacket when my boss dropped me and I nose dived onto the stage. Fortunately, my arms were tightly bound to my chest, so I didn't have to worry about breaking my fall.
6) After the show where the silk ripped open my calf, I lifted my unitard to discover three flies feasting on my oozing flesh.
7) I was kissed by pirates.
8) I was kissed by Isabella.
9) I took the 1 am to 7 am driving shift and missed the entire city of Chicago and wound up in Indiana.
10) I was pulled over for speeding at 2:30 am in Chicago, decided to pull off the highway hoping maybe the cop would let me go, only to discover, as the police officer told me, that there were no entrances to the highway in this part of town, only exits. This part of town ended up being the worst part of town. Through a combination of me playing dumb and Isabella playing the pity cards, the hand of the law let us go with directions to the nearest on ramp.
11) I watched a beautiful sunrise through crossed eyes, slapping myself awake while singing at the top of my exhausted lungs, and pulled into Kalamazoo at 7:16 am.
So I have some stories from the weekend. Remind me to tell you about them. |
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